Let Them Lead: Connection over Correction

Sacred Saturday Reflections from Begin Integrative Wellness

Some days we feel like we’re always one step behind. Behind the mess, behind the mood, behind the meltdowns. Especially with strong-willed children, who seem to meet every direction with resistance, every moment of affection with suspicion, and every playful attempt with a test of power.

But here’s the quiet truth:

Strong-willed kids don’t actually want control.
They want connection that feels safe.
And safety often begins with agency—a chance to lead.

Throughout my work with children and their families, I’ve encouraged people to explore the question:
What happens when we let our children lead the interaction?

Instead of insisting they respond to our way of connecting (our hugs, our timing, our talk), what if we entered their world? The world of train tracks and tangled hair, of high-pitched voices and unspoken needs. The world where play is communication, and affection is earned through presence, not persuasion.

Try This: The 5-Minute Connection Shift

Next time your child is lost in their own world—whether it's building, drawing, twirling in the living room, or just lying under a blanket—pause before interrupting.

Sit beside them.
Let your hand rest gently on their back or shoulder.
Say nothing.
Follow their energy. If they look up and smile, smile back. If they want to show you something, say yes. If they initiate a game, let them lead.

These small choices are regulation in action. They say, “You are safe with me. You don’t have to be different to be loved.”

Why It Matters

Strong-willed children often experience the world as a series of struggles for autonomy. When we offer gentle presence and allow their rhythm to guide the interaction, we send a powerful message: “You don’t have to earn my affection. I’m here with you, not against you.”

Touch, co-regulation, shared laughter—these build the invisible bridge that makes everything else possible. Over time, that bridge becomes trust. And from trust, cooperation grows naturally.

Reflection Questions

When was the last time I let my child lead a moment of connection?
How do I feel when I pause and simply be with them, without an agenda?
What kind of connection do I long for—and what might my child be longing for too?

This Sacred Saturday, may you find your way back to one another through stillness, play, and touch. Not by doing more—but by joining more. Let them lead the way..

With warmth Frederique Begin,

Begin Integrative Wellness

___________________

Begin Within

and align with the rhythm of nature and self.