Before we move into June (Ok clearly someone needs to stop me before I chase all my readers away!), let’s take a beat to pause.

June is going to be about the mind - all the stories it tells, all the tricks it plays, all the quiet narratives running in the background that shape how we see our kids and ourselves. That's big work that will challenge us and ask us to bring all of our best self regulation skills- like the ones we have been building.

So, to set ourselves up for success, let’s pause and reflect.  Taking the time for integrating new learning is the difference between having a new fun fact- one that disappears as fast as it came- and an internalized skill- something available when we need it most.

If you've been with us through April and May, you've been asked to notice a lot. You’ve tried things that probably felt awkward and observe yourself and your kiddo, hopefully with a degree of compassion instead of judgment. That's real work. And before we add the next layer, it's worth actually seeing how you’ve grown.

April was breath - often considered the first regulation tool, the one that connects you to your body and the present moment. It is available to your and to your strong-willed child even if neither of you can access it easily in the heat of a tense moment. This is why we avoid telling a dysregulated kid to breathe and found sneakier ways in.

May was movement - not purely as exercise but as the body’s language. We learned that that one size never fits all and explore different movement strategies to support different nervous system needs for a refresher check out the The Movement Menu. We met the seekers and the avoiders and the ones that fully freeze. You found ways to bring movement into the existing structure of the day instead of adding it to an already-full plate. That approach helps you build routines that actually last!

Now you’ve got two solid stones in the foundation you are building.  Go you!

I want to say this clearly, because I think most parenting content skips over this part when they offer “big transformations in 3 easy steps”.

This work isn't measured in immediate behavior change- that’s actually a signature of authoritarian parenting which is associated with negative, long-term outcomes. It's measured in slow, sometimes barely-visible shifts in the baseline - a slightly more regulated, effective parent, a slightly more understood child, a slightly less reactive house. Those micro-shifts compound. You just can't always see it while it's happening.  The best part of my job is that, as an outside observer, I can readily see the changes- even the small ones; they never cease to move, amaze and excite me!

So instead of a checklist, here are three small things to look for as you close out May:

One. One movement tool that fits your kiddo's specific nervous system - not the one in the latest number 1 parenting book, not the one your friend swears by. Not because those aren’t great, but because those may not be the ones that fit best for your family and child.  Find the one your SWC actually leans into naturally, the one they don't automatically resist. Even if it's small or a little weird. It could just be the couch cushion pile. Whatever it is is fine!

Two. One moment this month where you moved with your child instead of talking at them. A walk where you didn't lecture or a wiggle break you actually joined. Maybe a bedtime where thoughtful pacing replaced the negotiation. Just one is already a win.

Three. One transition that got even slightly easier because something physical happened first.

If you remember even just 1 from one of the options above, you’ve planted a seed and created a shift.  That’s a win!

Before June officially begins, give yourself a few minutes with these questions. You don't have to write anything down - but honestly it can help if you do.

What's one movement moment from May I want to carry forward? Not the whole menu. Just one thing that worked, even a little. Write it on a sticky note if that's your thing. Stick it somewhere visible. I like the bathroom mirror for reminders like this. 

And if your kid is game, try this at dinner or in the car this week:

You'll probably get a strange answer. All good. Strong-willed kids often have surprisingly precise body awareness when we ask the right question. Their answers are worth remembering.

Next Sunday, we start the third stone of our Stacking Stones: Mind as Storyteller.

This is where we look at the story you tell about who your strong-willed child is. The story you tell about yourself in this relationship. And the story your child may be starting to tell about themselves.

This is the stone that tends to reframe everything. We'll get into that soon.

But, for this week, let yourself just be and enjoy the end of May- if yours is like mine and the many families I know- it’s busy enough as it is.

April was breath. May was movement. Two stones in the foundation, and what most parents need right now is to catch their breath. Take a pause, look back at what worked and let go of what didn't. June brings us to the Mind as Storyteller, the narrative layer that will shift how you see everything else. We start next Sunday.